Ender's Game Movie

I'm so excited about the upcoming Ender's Game movie!!!!  A few things people have said make me a little nervous, though. Apparently:

  • The kids in battle school all have psychic powers from being so smart, like telepathy and starting fires
  • Valentine isn't the sister anymore, but the love interest, and she's like a karate champion
  • There's a scene where Ender decides he's going to break all the rules at battle school, so he puts on a leather jacket and sunglasses and they play "Bad to the Bone" in the background.
  • Bean is now the comic relief, with a lot of dwarf-throwing jokes
  • Instead of launching the Dr. Device, Ender now wins through concentrating hard on the power of love
  • Ender now has a CG alien pet that hangs around and says things in a funny accent (voice acted by Eddie Murphy)
  • M. Night Shyamalan rewrote all the dialogue
  • All the children in battle school are now American, but there's diversity because one is a jock, and one is a nerd, and one is a preppy, and one is a goth
  • Ender's punny catchphrases whenever he defeats someone
  • The formics now look like normal bald people with insect wings, and their queen is played almost exactly like Morgan Le Fay in the Merlin TV movie, including her loyal henchman and evil 1960s eye makeup
  • The battle room scenes aren't in zero-G but in a regular gym, because Nike wanted to do product placement


very funny. But sadly possible. . .

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