Thursday, March 21, 2013

Weeks

Why do we have a seven day week?
The cycle of the moon repeats about every 28 days, which is where we get the length of the month from. The only recognizable subdivisions of this are when the moon is full, the moon is new, and when the moon is half full. (We are able to tell convex from concave easily, but telling whether the moon is more or less than 1/3 full is difficult. This isn't just a cultural habit, but derives from the nature of orthogonality.) This divides the cycle of the moon into four equal sections.
If a holiday is going to be celebrated regularly, it makes sense to have it be on the day of the new moon, the full moon, and the half moons. (The same thing is true for the cycle of the year-- it makes sense to have the big celebrations timed for the equinoxes and the solstices, because they are the easiest dates to be sure of.)
This connection with the lunar cycle is explicit in the Babylonian calendar, but by historical times the Hebrew calendar had become a repeating cycle of seven days, disregarding the phase of the moon.

Monday, February 4, 2013

On losing a pet


Last year, my son (who was 9) lost his pet kitten. At first I told him that I was sure she would be back soon, but after a couple weeks had passed, I was less sure.  He was very anxious about her, and mentioned her at least a couple of times a day. I was looking for something to say that would console him, or at least ease his mind a little.  I did come up with something, finally, that made him feel much less worried, and I thought I would post it here in case anyone reading this finds themselves in a similar situation someday.

Listen. Most cats are happy to live in a house, with people to provide them food, and a warm place to sleep every day, and to pet them and play with them.  That's all they want out of life.  But a few cats are different. A few cats are a little bit sharper, a little bit faster than the average. They have more life in them, more of what makes a cat a cat. They are like Sir Francis Drake, or the Marco Polo of Cats. They need adventure, to explore, to find out everything they can about the world. I think your kitten might have been one of these.
She set out one day, chasing a bird, and found herself far from home, and one part of her wanted to go back, wanted to be with you and her friend cats, but another part was saying, go a little farther.  Who knows what could be out there? There could be lost tombs of ancient cat civilizations.  There could be a vast buried treasure of golden feathers tied on ribbons to sticks. Who knows? Go a little farther.  And so she decided to go and see what there was to see.
I saw her one day, a few days after she got out of the house. She was alert and bright-eyed, her ears perked up and her legs tensed to pounce.  And suddenly, she started running.  I've never seen a cat move so fast.  She took great bounding steps, like a cheetah, each one farther than the last until it seemed like she was flying.
She's going to be all right.

Thursday, January 10, 2013

fictional afterlives


When you die, your spirit can pass through earth and solid rock, but finds air to be solidly impenetrable. Because of this, the earth has the same surface, but spirits walk on the inside of it.  The roots of trees are what grows into the land of the dead.  Moles and worms fly there, but slowly. The dead can see and swim through water, but it piles up in places-- in the case of the oceans, the water is miles high and larger than a continent. It is always purple twilight in that world.


When you die, you are reincarnated.  But your memories were stored in your brain and rot with it. Your attitudes and aptitudes, your wisdom and your sins, all remain in your body and decay quickly. You continue, but you begin a completely new story, taking absolutely nothing from the previous one.



When you die, you enter a tunnel of light. Most people proceed forward along that until until they reach the light. Some retreat backwards into deeper and deeper darkness. You, however, notice the air-vents at the base of the tunnel, and manage to bash off the bolts with a loose stone, and slip into the unspeakably ancient infrastructure of that place. You find yourself in the workings of the world, and what happens to you is perhaps strangest of all...



When you die, you see your entire life before you as a long quilt, hanging on the wall. You can return to any point in your life you choose, and begin again from there.  This has happened to you many, many times, but you never remember it.



When you die, you go to heaven. For most people, that is enough.  But you are unsatisfied, and leave for the border, which is a parched desert that extends away from heaven for a thousand light-years in each direction. Along with a few strangers, you painfully begin the process of digging irrigation canals and planting hardy seeds.  It is tedious, difficult work, but there is no time limit. You dig your home out of the cracked earth. Sometimes, in the evenings, you sing.



Tuesday, January 8, 2013

Colors that don't exist



Fuligin ("darker than black," the color of a torturer's cloak)
Octarine ("the color of magic," a flourescent "greenish-yellow purple")
The eighth ray (used for propulsion on Mars)
The colour out of space (almost certainly described as "squamous")
Infra-green (used to find the mushroom planet)
Grue and Bleen ("grue ... applies to all things examined before t just in case they are green but to other things just in case they are blue")
Hooloovoo ("a superintelligent shade of blue" probably not on the spectrum from Ultra-violent to Infra-dead)




Tuesday, December 18, 2012



Instead of a moon, that earth had another world in its sky. The other world, called Selene, had its own people who lived there (though how they got there is still a mystery to this day.) The people there had their own ways of doing things, their own myths, their own styles of clothing and architecture. Instead of the wool of sheep, they used silk gathered from particularly docile moon-spiders. Everyone knew, pretty much, that Selene was an island in the sky, but until the Middle Ages there was essentially no contact with them. It was around that time that the Selenites invented rockets, and their larger firework shows were sometimes visible from Earth. Soon their rockets grew powerful enough to leave the weaker gravitational pull of Selene and enter Earth's atmosphere. They sent gifts of their strange moon-seeds, moon-spider-silks, moon-wine. This so inspired Earth's inventors that flight technology developed very rapidly; and Leonardo DaVinci, as a young man, built the first balloon-plane capable of leaving Earth and flying through the void to Selene.  (In that space, strange creature swam and were hunted by the Selenites.) For a hundred years, balloon-plane pilots made flights back and forth to Selene, bringing Selenite goods to Earth and Christianity and gold to the Selenites.
However, Emperor Ming saw the Earth people as a threat, and began shooting every balloon-plane he saw out of the sky with his rockets. This blockade continued until the 1800s. Around the time of the American civil war, an earth admiral took his sky-ironclads to Selene and ended the blockade forever.  From that time, there began to be a great exchange of trade between Selene and the Earth. At the turn of the twentieth century, earth artists were drawing inspiration from the glowing paints and oval canvases that characterised Selenite art. The Selenites depicted earth inventions, like steam power and electricity, as manifestations of strange gods.
Tensions between the two worlds grew, however, and in the 1940s the Selenite emperor rained meteors down on the earth. The war between worlds largely took place in space, where the Selenites were gradually driven back. Finally their great space-battleship Luna and two of their cities were destroyed by a devastating secret weapon, and their emperor surrendered. The Selenites accepted the earth admiral as their new ruler, and in return earth helped the Selenites to rebuild.
My grandfathers fought in that war. My father was an airship builder, whose work was threatened by competition from Selenite industry. When I was a young man, I travelled to Selene for a few years and spoke with the moon people in their own language. Selene and Earth have grown to resemble each other in a lot of ways, and yet... when the Selenites draw Earth styles, they get mixed up between centuries and countries and don't really care about it.  They adopt some of our stories, but mix them up with their own myths about space beasts and moon-ghosts. Earth stories, too, have begun to resemble moon-myths. The story of the war and the devastating secret weapon left strange echoes on the products of their culture...


...anyway, that's one reason I sometimes like to watch Japanese shows.

Monday, November 26, 2012

The City

You say you hate the city.
Watch as they climb the subway steps. Do you hear that kid with the accent? Two years ago he spoke no English. He is fighting all usual battles in school, but doing it in a foreign tongue. See that girl, with the piercings? She is desperate to somehow find something deeper and more real than the grey world she sees around her. Look at that guy with a basketball.  Every day he practices for twelve hours and every night he prays for something that will never happen because he is just two inches too short. That one in the suit? He dreams of visiting Peru. The homeless man-- he touched something once, something transcendent, something wonderful, and he keeps going back to the same place to try to get it back, and it keeps getting farther away. Do you see that girl in the sports jacket? She has an entire world in her head. Every one of these people has an entire secret world.  Any of them, if you had lived next door to them at the right time, would have been your best friend. Every one of them is proud, shy, angry, good, tired, cruel, hopeful, a loser and a hero, all at the same time. Each of them knows at least one terrible truth and one wonderful lie.
I think you feel the weight of all that, and carrying it exhausts you. That is not hate, not really; rather a surfeit of love.

Saturday, October 27, 2012

The Eldritch Collection in 13 volumes


Looking for something to read this Halloween? Every one of these tomes is guaranteed to drive you mad with unspeakable revelations of ancient forbidden knowledge!


De Vermis Mysteriis and Liber Ivonis (The Book of Eibon)
Cultes des Goules and Die Unsprechliche Kulten
The King in Yellow
Massa di Requiem par Shuggay
Du Svardenvyrd
The Book Bound in Pale Leather
The Book of Sand
Necronomicon
Necrotelicomnicon aka the Liber Paginarum Fulvarum
The Thousand Nights and One Night (full version)
The Egyptian Book of the Dead
The Codex of the Black Labyrinth

The 13th volume is a collection of handwritten manuscripts on mathematical philosophy by the following authors:
Georg Cantor
Kurt Godel
Ted Kaczynski
Ludwig Boltzmann
Yutaka Tanayama
C.P. Ramanujam
Felix Hausdorff
Paul Erdos
John Nash
Emil Post